Who Gets the Child?

By Sushma Subramanian

Judge Brent Hall had some stern words of advice for the young couple seated before him at Hopkins County Family Court in Madisonville, Ky. Jordan Pyles and Ashlyn Harrell had come to make some small adjustments to a temporary custody arrangement for their 4-year-old daughter, but on this March afternoon in 2018 what preoccupied them was their upcoming trial in June. Pyles, a 25-year-old project manager at a steel manufacturing company, and Harrell, a 22-year-old full-time mom, were both hoping to win sole custody.

“I care about your child because I care about kids,” Hall said of the trial, which he would also be presiding over, “but I’m going in blind, and you are going to have a very limited period of time to tell me and try to get something to click in my mind that makes me see things your way. … And I’m probably not going to see it your way, either one of your ways.”

At that point in Kentucky, as in most states, in a contested custody case, one parent typically became the main custodian and the other was granted a certain amount of visitation. Listening to Judge Hall, Jordan and Ashlyn were each worried that the other parent would be awarded custody. Ashlyn was additionally concerned that during their contentious year-long custody battle they had spent so much time painting each other as a bad parent that the court would take their daughter and put her into foster care.

Jordan and Ashlyn never married. Their relationship had floundered even before Ann, who is identified in this story by her middle name, was born. Ashlyn had been prepared to raise the child on her own, but from the beginning, Jordan had embraced fatherhood and sought to be an equally active part of Ann’s life. Ever since, Jordan and Ashlyn had been on an exhausting emotional and legal roller coaster.

With Hall’s words echoing in his mind, Jordan decided he needed to convince Ashlyn to consider another option. Within weeks, the state legislature was expected to pass a shared-parenting law mandating that, except in certain situations, 50-50 parenting time would be the presumptive arrangement for permanent custody orders. If so, it looked to Jordan like the outcome was basically already decided, in which case there would be no point to sitting through a heated trial.